What is a focused thesis statement with essay map?Could you please write an example so i can understand clearly. or check what i wrote below and advise if it is correct, please.
"Soda is a poison everyone should avoid. It contains an alarming amount of sugar, harmful additives, and is linked to heart disease, and tooth decay."
...the essay map sounds a little overdone maybe? probably too many conjunctions and clauses. how do i fix it? should i just leave out 'tooth decay'?
ah, i understand now. thank you so much.
Answer by Michael B
Break it up into 3 sentences.
"Soda pop is a product everyone should avoid as if it were a poison. Most contain an unhealthy amount of concentrated carbohydrates and harmful additives. Consumption of soda has been linked to health problems such as heart disease, diabetes and tooth decay."
Be clear about WHAT you are describing. Soda could be caustic soda, baking soda or carbonated beverages.
Since, technically soda isn't a poison, don't call it one directly unless you want that as your thesis. "Soda pop is a poison!" It could be better that way. But then you have to support is as a poison by comparing its effects to poison more substantially.
Since soda has sugar, glucose, and high-fructose corn syrup it it, I chose the generic carbohydrates instead of sugar.
I added diabetes to make the conditions a triple. I like that better than just two.
Answer by jack of all trades
Your thesis is really stated simply and directly. "Soda is a a poison everyone should avoid." The rest of your essay should be spend on proving that theory. Be ready to include diet soda which contains no sugar, or alter your thesis to say, "Soda containing sugar. . ." You could easily write three body paragraphs or more explaining what the sugar and additives do that link soda to heart disease, diabetes and tooth decay.
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